Triggering Meltdowns
Collecting Tears
Distilling Bourbon
Tasting Flavours
Distributing Freedom
Triggering Meltdowns
$ 99.99
$ 89.99
We’re thrilled (and slightly overwhelmed) to report that Democrat tears have flooded our distillery. We underestimated just how emotional they’d get.
Kentucky’s running low on barrels, and our bottling crew is knee-deep in liberal sorrow. We’re refilling as fast as we can! Expect fresh bottles before Christmas, and reinforcements in January. The taste of freedom is always worth the wait.
Limited Edition Box Contains: - 1 Bottle of Tears of the Left - 1 Book of Tears - Cocktails for the Bold & Brave - 1 SNOWFLAKE Tear Stone (Chilling Whiskey Stone) - 1 X Legend Signed Card for Triggering Snowflakes
Why settle for one legend… when you could roll with the whole crew?
Collectors Edition Contains: - SNOWFLAKE Tear Stone Edition - COMMIE Tear Stone Edition - GLOBALIST Tear Stone Edition - DEI Tear Stone Edition - FEMINIST Tear Stone Edition + Free Gift
$ 499.95
$ 449.95
This X Legend is the guy who swung swords on ancient sets, crushed monsters without breaking a sweat, and roared “DISAPPOINTED!” so loudly it became a rallying cry across the internet.
He’s captained starships, dropped one-liners sharper than a broadsword, and never blinked in the face of Hollywood’s groupthink.
And when the mob tried to freeze him out for speaking the obvious, he just smirked, kept talking, and charged forward like the hero he’s always been.
One day, he decided the world’s loudest sobs deserved bottling. And when those tears turned so delicate they couldn’t stay liquid, they crystallized into stone. So he forged the SNOWFLAKE Tear Stone - ready to keep your Tears of the Left bourbon cold without ever watering down your backbone.
Because legends keep their drinks ice-cold… and their snowflakes firmly on ice.
