Triggering Meldown
Collecting Tears
Distilling Bourbon
Tasting Flavours
Distributing Freedom
Triggering Meldown
It started, as most great tragedies do, with a single, artisanal tear. Somewhere in a coastal university, a sophomore cried — not from heartbreak, but from encountering a mildly opposing opinion. That tear, pure and unfiltered, rolled into legend.
Distilled from digital outrage, fermented in campus safe spaces, and aged in echo chambers, the tears began to collect. Meme lords and emotionally unstable mixologists — fueled by caffeine, chaos, and questionable Memes — set out to do the only logical thing: make cocktails out of cultural meltdowns.
Thus, The Book of Tears was born. Each drink is a meme-ified meltdown, a character study in cocktail form — photo, recipe, and flavor profile included. Not stirred. Not shaken. Just triggered.
Premium Proof of Liberal Meltdowns. Drink and Cry Responsibly.
Complex enough to diagram in a blog post, quirky enough for a toddler meltdown, and strong enough for surviving 30-minute monologues.
• 2 oz Tears of the Left Bourbon
• ½ oz amaro Montenegro
• ¼ oz banana liqueur
• 2 dashes walnut bitters
Strong enough to drown out wails from the left, smooth enough for game day victory sips, and savage enough to come with its own alert siren.
• 2 oz Tears of the Left Bourbon
• ¾ oz blackcurrant liqueur
• ½ oz fresh lime juice
• ½ oz honey syrup
• 2 dashes Peychaud’s bitters
• Mint sprig and blackberry for garnish
Sweet enough to honor the badge, strong enough to survive taser mishaps, and designed to keep you awake.
• 2 oz Tears of the Left Bourbon
• ¾ oz coffee liqueur
• ½ oz maple syrup
• 1 oz cold brew concentrate
• 2 dashes chocolate bitters
So bitter even the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) can’t fix it — but hey, it’s cheaper than $34 trillion.
• 1 oz Tears of the Left Bourbon
• 1 oz Campari
• 1 oz sweet vermouth
• ¼ oz honey syrup
• Lemon twist and tiny gold coin chocolate
Dark secrets. Bold truths. Not everyone’s ready for the drop — but it goes down smooth if you are.
• 2 oz Tears of the Left Bourbon
• ¾ oz Averna amaro
• ½ oz cherry heering
• 2 dashes black walnut bitters
• Smoked rosemary sprig for garnish
So strong, leftists can’t cry their way out of it - perfect for killing woke narratives & reminding everyone masculinity isn’t toxic.
• 2 oz Tears of the Left Bourbon
• ½ oz Cynar
• ¾ oz fresh lemon juice
• ½ oz maple syrup
• 2 dashes black walnut bitters
