Triggering Meltdown
Collecting Tears
Distilling Bourbon
Tasting Flavours
Distributing Freedom
Triggering Meltdown
100% Kentucky Bourbon.
0% Safe Space.
Tears of The Left™ is
Woke meltdowns. Distilled.
First, spark a liberal meltdown. Think mean memes, election results, courtroom victories, bills passed and peace deals that leave pundits speechless…
Cue the tears.
Next, we gather those liberal tears - each one pure and filtered for greatness. Then we age them in new American oak barrels, because freedom deserves good wood.
Finally, we distill those tears into the best bourbon. So smooth, it makes “the narrative” nervous. This isn’t just the best whiskey - it’s a drink with convictions.
One Pour = One Meltdown.
Distilled by Legendary Anti Woke Warriors.
For fans who believe jokes shouldn’t get canceled… or watered down.
We’re thrilled (and slightly overwhelmed) to report that Democrat tears have flooded our distillery. We underestimated just how emotional they’d get.
Kentucky’s running low on barrels, and our bottling crew is knee-deep in liberal sorrow. We’re refilling as fast as we can! Expect fresh bottles before Christmas, and reinforcements in January. The taste of freedom is always worth the wait.
Limited Edition Box Contains: - 1 Bottle of Tears of the Left - 1 Book of Tears - Cocktails for the Bold & Brave - 1 COMMIE Tear Stone (Chilling Whiskey Stone) - 1 X Legend Signed Card (by world famous comedian)
For those who know a real warrior never melts under pressure…
We’re thrilled (and slightly overwhelmed) to report that Democrat tears have flooded our distillery. We underestimated just how emotional they’d get.
Kentucky’s running low on barrels, and our bottling crew is knee-deep in liberal sorrow. We’re refilling as fast as we can! Expect fresh bottles before Christmas, and reinforcements in January. The taste of freedom is always worth the wait.
Limited Edition Box Contains: - 1 Bottle of Tears of the Left - 1 Book of Tears - Cocktails for the Bold & Brave - 1 SNOWFLAKE Tear Stone (Chilling Whiskey Stone) - 1 X Legend Signed Card for Triggering Snowflakes
For believers in truth bombs… and countries, and bourbon, with borders.
Limited Edition Box Contains: - 1 X Legend Signed Card for Keeping It Domestic - 1 Bottle of Tears of the Left - 1 Book of Tears - Cocktails for the Bold & Brave - 1 GLOBALIST Tear Stone** (Chilling Whiskey Stone)
For those who recognize two genders… and one perfect way to drink bourbon.
Limited Edition Box Contains: - 1 Bottle of Tears of the Left - 1 Book of Tears - Cocktails for the Bold & Brave - 1 FEMINIST Tear Stone** (Chilling Whiskey Stone) - 1 X Legend Signed Card for Walking Loud and Living Unapologetic
For patriots who prefer their bourbon colorblind… and without quotas.
Limited Edition Box Contains: - 1 Bottle of Tears of the Left - 1 Book of Tears - Cocktails for the Bold & Brave - 1 DEI Tear Stone** (Chilling Whiskey Stone) - 1 X Legend Signed Card for Defending Truth in a Cape
Why settle for one legend… when you could roll with the whole crew?
Collectors Edition Contains: - SNOWFLAKE Tear Stone Edition - COMMIE Tear Stone Edition - GLOBALIST Tear Stone Edition - DEI Tear Stone Edition - FEMINIST Tear Stone Edition + Free Gift
$ 499.95
$ 449.95
